Apologizes in advance for the long post but i really want to give a full context here!
I am 38 married female from a tier 1 city in india working a flashy corporate job, me and husband met through an arrange marriage with typical modern indian families meeting through some long distant relatives. When we met for the first time there was an instant connection, we had both went to US for our masters and both came back because we wanted to settle close to families so it was such a perfect match. I found him very attractive and he told me on our first meet that he reminded me of his favorite movie star. Things went really well and we even kissed in our first date (after families met, we started dating). We got married in 2015 and life started, reality kicked in but nothing major. little disagreements here and there, but overall we were a good couple.
Coming to topic, sex life it has always been decent (i said decent but not great) and i really never complained, specially because i didn’t want to compare. I have dated 3 guys before getting married, 1 in india and 2 in US and all 3 of them were on the bigger side (compared to my husband) but as any married women will tell you, its not about size its about effort they put in and my husband did put in a lot of effort which i appreciated a lot. Couple of years after, its started slowing down and we were down to twice a week sex (from 5-6 times a week after marraige) and i think that was a decent amoount for a couple where both of us have a full time job. My husband has never been the jealous one or possessive type and he has a very good balance between being concerned and telling me what to do, so i absolutely love that about him. This one time, we hosted a diwali party and one of his senior kept hitting on me and my husband did notice but never said a word, secretly i enjoyed the attention but knew where to draw the line and i did.
Fast forward couple of years more, we had our child and sex life went to maybe once a week (if i am lucky) but i knew that was going to happen after a kid and didn’t complain thinking things would get better as the kid grow older. So around 6-7 years into our married life, i am 34ish and my sex life is down to nothing and i started getting frustrated. Reading online forums, erotic stories and what not but nothing helped, because you can’t just replace real raw sex with porn. I specifically remember a post that talked about making your husband jealous to get more attention and i did. On our anniversary, i asked my husband to gift me set of toys which included 2 dildos and a rabbit. He saw no problem and obliged like a good boy he is. He celebrated, had sex and life moved on. Few weeks later, i told him i have 3 toys and its confusing because they all are sort sort of dildos so i am going to name them. At first he thought it was funny until i told him, two of them were named after my ex boy friends and 1 after his boss (not the one that hit on me). This is where the fun started, everytime he doesn’t want to fuck, i would tell him to just pass me Karan (my ex) before going to sleep. (Keep in mind, i specifically made a point to keep all my toys on his side of the bed so he had to pass them to me).
Our sex life completely changed, my husband who barely wanted to fuck once a week now would want to have sex every time he knew i was using those dildos. I remember him once going at me with this passion that i had never felt in my entire married life and i asked him afterwards what changed and he told me, he just didn’t want me to use the dildo. Now that i knew this, i used this as a superpower and everytime i was in the mood, i just asked him about my dildos, you see its important you understand he doesn’t have a problem with them so i could have simply used them myself but me being the evil monster i am, i would say things like. Hey, if you are ging to bed, toh is it ok with your boss sleeps between my legs tonight? He would pass me that dildo but middle of night i would feel him poking at me, so the magic was working. I have cracked the code and have literally figured out a way to get as much as i want, just had to make sure he is teased enough.
Fast forward to few weeks ago at our 10th wedding anniversary, we booked a hotel room since we couldn’t get out of town, kids at parents house and we figured we’d just have some good sex and spend a night together. We have been roleplaying a lately but that night i just wanted my husband, i guess i got emotional about marraige and all that, felt lucky with the man he is and asked him if we could just have vanilla sex where i am me and he is he, no roleplays, no dildos nothing. He agreed but i could tell something was off, keep in mind at this point we havnet’ had sex without roleplaying for couple of years now. Last couple of years, sex has been really good as well even since i discovered dildos and his obsession with me pretending to be with another men. Anyways, at our anniversary night the sex was perhaps the worst we have ever had, i mean literally he couldn’t get a hard on and we just somehow finished and i faked an orgasm, he told me he knew i was faking it. I apoloziged but he said he understood why i would do that. We talked, and i asked him what the problem is to which he admitted, he doesn’t get jealous when i talk about other men infact he gets turned on. So basically everytime we have sex, he thinks of me with another man specially man that has a much bigger tool. While we were at this topic, i asked him why he feels that way? He told me, because he wants to see me with someone who has a much bigger tool, he knows the type of person i am that i would never agree to it but him sharing this meant the world to him. He said, he has never felt this good and it felt like a big pressure off his shoulder.
Now, we are back to our regular roleplays but everytime he is getting more aggressive and authortative with his demands. This one time, he text me “Aj main aur boss dono karney waley hai humarey saath” to which i laughed and replied with “Sure”. To my surprise his boss came home that day with him, i was just shocked when i opened the door. He took me inside the kitchen and told me “i told you in text, why are you so shocked?”. I couldn’t believe myself but 5 minutes later he told me, his boss just had some work so he invited him over so we could finish it at the house. The boss is such a gentlemen and he doesn’t know anything that my husband thinks so he behaved beyond normal and left in couple of hours. That night was again one of the best sex we ever had.
Even though, i know i will never be able to sleep with another man but my husbands’ boldness and his confidence about me with another men keeps turning me on. Please tell me what would you do in this situation? I really like my life and enjoy being married and i don’t want to fuck this up!!!